Monday, November 28, 2005

For Katie

The time we shared will always
Be a treasure meant to keep,
A field of brilliant flowers
Growing wild for us to reap.
We will listen for your lilting song
When the wind blows in the night,
With love we will remember you...
Go softly toward the light.
-Linda Xavier


This is for Katie Renville.

There are so many who will miss you; so many who knew you at your best and worst, on your silly days and your sad. It seemed unreal to hear, and we were stunned. Please, Katie, say it's not so. It was too soon to lose you; we weren't prepared. It was like a piece of us had been ripped out.

But we will not dwell on the pain, the grief, the loss - instead, we will continue forward as we know you want us to. We will attend the classes of which you were a part, and walk the halls we once walked together. We will talk, laugh and smile - all the while remembering how you used to do the same.

Goodbye, my dear Katie. How we will miss you.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Holiday Wrap-Up

It's Sunday and the Thanksgiving holiday is officially almost over. Tomorrow will see me back in classes, back at work, and once again going insane. The break was much-needed; I managed to avoid doing homework during most of the holiday. I made fairly little human contact after the big Turkey Day itself, on which I ate dinner with 35 other people - can anyone blame me for wanting to enjoy a little peace and quiet after that? Now, I'm a people-person, and love to socialize, but I must say that I've quite enjoyed my solitude for the last few days. I've pretty much stayed in my apartment. No pushing through the mass of 30,000 students in between classes, no fighting the crowds in the malls on Black Friday, no screaming customers that want their food cooked faster and to their personal specifications. Just me, or me and Audrey, or me and Jocilyn. With the snow falling lightly outside, a steaming mug of hot chocolate in my hand, and my puzzle or book in front of me, how on earth could I complain?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thanksgiving Plans

The Thanksgiving holiday has started, and I am watching and rewatching my favourite scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - to ensure that when I quote them I do so correctly. The house is quiet save for the TV. Emilie and Caitlin are with family in Kayesville, Cassidy has gone home to Farmington, and both Julie and Audrey are enjoying a lie-in. My plans for the day include baking, starting a jigsaw puzzle, organizing my room, and doing homework (as tragic as it is that I have to do homeork during a holiday). Tomorrow I will go to Kayesville with my friend Jocilyn, to join her family for Thanksgiving dinner. The group of us will talk, laugh, play games, and stuff ourselves until we cannot even think of eating another bite. Then I will return to my apartment, where I will have a couple more pieces of pie and likely collapse on the couch to watch a movie and enjoy doing nothing. The rest of the holiday will consist of rest and relaxation, or at least that's the plan. But, as they say, the most well-laid plans often go amiss...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Monday, November 21, 2005

A Chameleon of Sorts

I've always been one to adjust quickly. People have said me to be a chameleon - not sure if that's a compliment or not. I've also been told I don't have a personality of my own, but that I take on the character of those around me; pretty sure that wasn't a compliment, but it is motivation to choose my friends wisely I suppose. As a child, I flew back and forth between two different families that were, in many ways, opposite worlds. I learned to adapt. My mother often commented to me that I came back from my father's house a different person than I was when I had left.

When I go somewhere new, whether it's to Girls' Camp for a week or to visit family for the summer, I throw myself into it. Wherever I've just been is still important to me, obviously, but it's no longer the focus of my attention. Tears of sorrow I had shed at parting are all but forgotten. I know it sounds harsh. Though I still deeply care for those I left behind, my new environment becomes my focus - I love pretty much anywhere I am.

Recently, though, things have seemed to change. Over the summer the old norm didn't hold true - sure I loved being in England, and loved the people there, but I missed my old life like crazy. Slowly I got more used to where I was, but I held tightly onto the memories of Utah and my old home. My old roommates, my old friends, a familiar environment. I played the music we used to listen to, sang the songs we wrote together, called/e-mailed sporadically, and talked of them constantly. I couldn't wait to come back.

The summer ended and I returned to Utah, thrilled to see my roommates again and return to school and my old job at the Creamery. But I went through withdrawals - as my roommates can attest to - I missed England. I played the music I had listened to all summer, e-mailed Hannah and Charlie constantly, and spoke of Stonehenge non-stop. And though I'm happy here, I can't help but miss England still. I miss Hannah, Charlie, my parents, Stonehenge and all the people I worked with.

I'm pathetic.

Monday, November 14, 2005

A Wink and a Smile

Breathe, T, breathe. Two Gentlemen of Verona is almost over, or at least the main portion of your participation in it. Rehearsals are over, the study guide is printed, the lobby display is up...all that's left to do is go to a couple of Humanities/English classes to do presentations with the cast, and moderate the two remaining talk-back sessions after the Thursday night performances.

Praise Allah for roommates. Last Thursday, I had to run the first talk-back session for the show, and I wasn't sure what I was going to say. The talk-backs are basically a chance for the audience to stay after the performance and have a discussion with the cast/crew, director, and dramaturg (that's me). They can ask questions or make comments, and my job is to instigate the discussion, smile and nod no matter what comments are made, and keep the conversation flowing. Not a difficult job, unless no one has anything to say and I have to say something interesting to fill the silence. Anyway, I was a little bit (well, okay so really) nervous Thursday night - I really wanted the talk-back to go well, the director was there and she's pretty critical - but I needn't have worried. Julie (one of my 5 favourite roommates) stayed after the show and sat in the audience, and it was nice to have a friendly face. While Todd was making faces at me from the 3rd row, a couple rows behind him Julie was just smiling like the sweetheart that she is. Every time I got nervous, I looked up at Julie and she would smile and wink reassuringly, as if to say, "Just breathe - you're doing great." Afterwards, Julie gave me a huge hug - well, a few of them - just what I needed. I love that Julie often knows what to do to calm me down. Bless.

Now I just have to get through the next couple of weeks and I'll be fine...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A Little Thing

We all have rough days. You know what I mean, those days when you wonder why on earth you bothered to get out of bed that morning - it was so warm and comfortable! Days when the world seems so hostile; your professor makes fun of you, a friend gets mad at you, and even the lady at the bookstore patronizes you and says scathingly, "How should I know where that book is? It's over there somewhere...not in my department."

But no matter. All that a bad day really needs is a little bright spot - it doesn't have to be anything magnificent - just something to occupy your thoughts and remind you that there is good in this world after all. Today, my bright spot came in the form of a book.

"How the Grinch Stole Christmas" - in Latin? Who'd have thought? Maybe I'm the only one who is so thrilled about this, but I suppose that's why it's my personal bright spot. The book, a warm blanket, and a mug of hot chocolate...

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

She Couldn't Be Reached for Comment

I think I'll talk about something exhilarating. Mobile phones? Sure. I thought, when I decided to buy one, that I would love it. And I do - it's nice to know that if someone needs me they can reach me, and that I have a way to ring someone and ask a quick question or tweak plans for later. I also get super-excited when my phone starts to ring; it makes me think, "Hooray! Someone loves me!" Cell phones are wonderful that way. Not to mention the fact that they're a portable phone book and alarm clock. To me, an alarm clock I can take with me everywhere means that I can take naps; during the day, while I'm on campus - without worrying about not waking up for my next class.

Now on to a less-than-exhilarating topic. Mobile phones. Yes, they qualify again. I have to say that although having a mobile is great, I've started to become slightly annoyed with it and the expectations that people have of me to be constantly accessible. If I'm not, I get asked, "Hey, why didn't you answer your phone earlier? I hate it when I can't get a hold of you!" It seems that if someone owns a mobile phone, they must be always ready to dive for it when it rings. Let's be honest, why? There are times that I'm in class, or at work, or in rehearsal, or in a meeting, or at the library, or or or... I have so many things to do other than answer the phone every time it rings.

Last night I recieved a phone call from Todd while I was at work - which I couldn't answer as I was in the middle of chopping red onions, tears streaming down my face. No, nothing was wrong, I just happen to be sensitive to onions. Red ones in particular. A couple of hours later Todd called me again (while I was busy, of course), and although I wasn't specifically ignoring his call, I also wasn't exactly devastated to have missed it. After not answering for the second time that evening, I recieved the following exasperated text: "Arrgh! Is your phone working?"

No, Todd, I threw it off the balcony. So don't call me again.