At Least I Didn't Catch it on Fire

I cooked my first Thanksgiving turkey today! I realized during dinner that I should have taken a picture of the (perfectly browned) bird as proof, but I didn't.

Just know that it was beautiful.

A Little Advice

A little bit of advice to anyone who is asked to give a talk at church:

DON'T tell us the entire story of how you came to be standing at the pulpit. We don't want to know on which day of the week which bishopric member called to assign you a topic, how you pretended to not be home, or how you procrastinated and had to write the talk early Sunday morning. We especially do not want to hear any jokes about how much you don't want to be giving your talk right now.

1.) They're not funny.
2.) We don't care.

Learning a New Skill

I don't draw. Like, really, I don't draw. I took an art class in the 6th? 8th? grade, but other than that I draw only stick figures. I need a compass to get a decent circle, and a ruler unless I want my straight line to look like a sine wave. My sister is an absolutely AMAZING artist (I think she's as good as Audrey, and that's saying something!), but I certainly didn't inherit any artistic genes from her. And for all the time we spent together as kids (even sharing a bedroom most of my childhood), none of her talent rubbed off on me. I didn't get her singing voice either...*sigh*

But now I have to learn to draw, though I've been scared of it for years. I'm too much of a perfectionist to learn something as difficult as drawing - I don't like having to erase things and start over. I want it to be right the first time! But I'm in a lighting design class, and we're exploring the way light hits certain objects and where the shadows fall. In other words, value range. We've been drawing with charcoal - both black on white and white on black (I think the second is harder). I'm embarrassed to show my first class assignment, but here's the second one. I'm mostly pleased with it, and I should be - I spent 12 hours trying to get it right. I finally just had to say enough is enough! This wasn't even an officially graded assignment - I don't want to think about how long it will take me to do my final project!!!

A Better Win

On a brighter note, BYU beat UCLA 59-0 tonight! How fabulous. The Cougars played brilliantly; Max Hall was on point (en pointe? Audrey, help?)! Austin Collie caught an amazing 10 passes - and he was not open for a single one of those. Matched by Dennis Pitta and Harvey Unga, Collie scored 2 touchdowns. Backup RB Wayne Latu ran a 7th in, and Mitch Payne (brother of the fantastic Matt Payne) kicked a field goal. I couldn't have asked for a better game, especially after what happened last week. Go Cougars!!!


Ps. I did not say anything insulting about UCLA. Please take note of that.

Class

Perhaps it's because I went to BYU. Perhaps it's because my husband's family are devout Aggies. Or perhaps it's because I'm a decent human being. Whatever the reason, I think that exhibiting sportsmanship at sporting events - whether your team is winning or losing - is paramount.

I hate people that hate other people.

I went to watch the Maryland football team play California today, and if you're a Maryland fan it was a great game. I'm kind of a Maryland fan, and I enjoyed watching the Terps win. But I would have enjoyed it a lot more if it weren't for all the other Maryland fans who attended the game.

I was deeply disturbed by the classless attitude of the Terp fans, an attitude for which they are well-known and which they (unfortunately) are very proud of. They yelled insult after insult at the Cal players, coaches, fans, and anyone they thought might be slightly connected with the Blue-and-Gold. And this was more than the throwing around of profanity by Terp fans individually due to their flared-up emotions - this tasteless abuse was institutionalized. The chant recited after each score by every Maryland fan I could see was this: "Hey! You suck! (repeated 4 times) We're going to beat the **** (I heard multiple words inserted here, all of them terrible) out of you and you and you and you!" (Apparently Maryland thinks they can take on four teams at once. Boy would I love to see that game.) This absurd chant was accompanied by pointing fingers and rude gestures. "Hey you suck" t-shirts were quite popular among the student body, as were various shirts sporting vulgar sentences that included the "f" word (always naming another team).

Honestly, who does that? Have they no self-respect? How can they possibly think that those things are clever or funny? I'm highly concerned for the welfare of mankind.

I have so many cruel things I want to say about the crude and graceless Terrapins, but I'll refrain. I have class.

The Win

On BYU's win over the Washington Huskies, including the
controversial "Excessive Celebration" penalty: 9/6/2008.
Click here for the story.

Point #1:
Rule 9-2, Article 1(a)(2) says that "After a score or any other play, the player in possession immediately must return the ball to an official or leave it near the dead-ball spot." Obviously, this did not happen. Good call or bad call, that's the rule in the book - whether or not the ball was thrown "high into the air" or "behind his neck". Where the ball was thrown has nothing to do with it - notice that the official statement did not say "high into the air" but "into the air", meaning that Locker threw the ball at all instead of giving it to an official or setting it on the ground. That portion of the rule is not subjective.

Point #2:
The penalty really didn't matter, because the extra point was blocked, not missed. From 20- or from 35-yards, it was still blocked. In addition, BYU deserved that block as they deserved to win the whole game. The Cougars clearly were the better team, with more passing yards than the Huskies had total. Can anyone say, "Dennis Pitta is amazing"?

Point #3:
I don't really need to make it, because it's been said already and anyone who was even remotely paying attention should know. But for the sake of thoroughness I will: The 20-yard pass to Goodwin was only made possible by blatant Husky cheating - holding so obvious even I caught it. And that uncalled penalty was only one of many (and on a crucial play! If the fate of the game was changed by the refs, it was right there - the next down should have been 3rd and 29, not 1st and 10). Washington fans complaining about poor calling by the officials are absolutely correct.

It was HORRIBLE.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

I've always been terrified of going to the dentist, and I'm not really sure why. I suppose everyone has their own irrational, paralyzing fear - and dentists are mine.

A few weeks ago, my teeth really started hurting. I didn't know why, but the pain got so bad it was giving me headaches and sore muscles in my neck. I decided to call a dentist and schedule an appointment (which also meant looking through my insurance policy to figure out what's covered and who I can go see, and I HATE dealing with insurance). I called a few people on the list, and the first dentist whose office answered the phone I made an appointment with. I don't want to give out his full name, so I'll refer to him as Dr. V. Davis. No no, scratch that, I'll call him Dr. Vincent D.

DON'T GO SEE HIM.

Friday at 2:45 I show up for my appointment, my teeth having mostly calmed down but still a little sensitive. I've spent all week mentally preparing myself, and all day not eating due to nerves. I arrive a little early, expecting to fill out new patient paperwork. The office is closed. Someone tells me they saw him leave not 10 minutes before that, so I think that perhaps he ran out but will be back for my 3:00 appointment. No luck. Scott and I wait for over an hour, with no sign of Dr. Vincent D. The answering machine message in his office gives his cell phone as an emergency number, but he's not answering that either. So we go home. Shortly afterward he calls me, has no idea who I am, and says that he didn't have anyone on his schedule so he went home early. I told him I scheduled an appointment with his receptionist, and he says that he just fired her because she wasn't doing her job and he's so sorry and can he call me back when he has his calendar in front of him and schedule me personally? Fine, I say.

And I wait. A full week goes by without hearing from him, so I call him back myself. At first he doesn't remember me, but then he does and we schedule an appointment for today, August 11th, after I return from my trip to Utah. Luckily by this point my teeth have stopped hurting, so I am no longer in desperate need of care. I'm willing to wait a little bit. Today arrives and I once again arrive early with Scott (who has come for much-needed emotional support). The office is open, which I take to be a good sign. But the dentist isn't in. The receptionist seems confused at my presence, because I'm not on the schedule, but I tell her that Dr. Vincent D. scheduled me personally. I fill out paperwork, and wait. Over half an hour goes by. The receptionist (who did NOT seem like she wanted to be there for have anything to do with patients) calls the dentist, who says that he had called everyone yesterday to cancel appointments for today because he had to take the day off. But I wasn't on his list of appointments. This time he has no one to blame but himself, and all he can say is, "Sorry about that."

The name of his practice is "Gentle Dental Care". Apparently he's so gentle he never even touches your teeth. I didn't feel a thing.

I had to make sure

I'm in Utah visiting family - and that always means an adventure! Two of my sisters-in-law, their 5 children, my father-in-law, and I went hiking yesterday morning. The views were beautiful and the trail was easy (except for the side trail we took which ended up being a very steep dirt-and-rock-slide). On the way back to the car, I was holding Taylor's hand and Porter was walking behind us, picking up little rocks and acting like he was going to throw them at Taylor. This made Taylor very nervous (he's a somewhat anxious child anyway), and when Porter began walking beside us Taylor reached over and slugged him on the shoulder. Porter responded with a punch of his own, followed immediately by a second one. Taylor began to cry. "But that's not fair!" he whined. "I only hit you once! You punched me twice! You can't do that!"

Porter responded, very matter-of-factly, "Well, I punched you the first time but I didn't think it really hurt. So I punched you again to make sure it hurt."

To which Taylor responded by punching Porter on the arm, just to make things even.

Oh, those boys. They love each other, really.

Are we there yet?

As a child, summer was never long enough. The start of the school year was exciting only because I got to go shopping for new pencils and folders - I didn't actually want to go back to the classroom. I looked forward to meeting my teachers, but the kids were always mean, the days too long, and the homework tedious. I loved the summer.

These days, though, things are different. For one thing, being out of school doesn't mean 3 months of lazy days at the pool or whiling away the time inventing some new game of make-believe that involves me bossing around my siblings (one of my favourites was a game in which I was the Queen, my younger brother was the leader of my army, and his principal Knightly Duty was making me quesadillas for lunch. It was brilliant). Alas, none of that anymore. Summer now simply means that time spent in class and doing homework is replaced extended hours at work. No longer does the "vacation" zip by; I feel like it's been summer for ages. I can't wait to go back to school. My class schedule is planned, I've looked up my book lists, and my pencils are sharpened. Are we there yet?

I should enjoy the break while it's here though - I'm sure that a few weeks into the semester I'll be dreaming of the homework-free days of summer, extra hours at work and all.

The Best Birthday Present EVER

July 15th, 2008. Birthday #23.

I swear, all I did was bend over.

Really, that was it. I should have been fine. I should have been able to bend down (only about 20 degrees!) and screw the lightbulb in with no problem. My back should NOT have seized up so tightly that I couldn't stand up; I should not have had little white dots floating in front of my eyes or searing pain racing up my spine - but, of course, that's exactly what did happen. I fell back onto the floor as carefully as I could, seeing as how I couldn't move my neck or my back and felt like I could hardly breathe because of the shock. I sat there for a minute, hoping it would go away before everyone else got back from their lunch break. I had just confessed to my boss that my toothache of a few days had been giving me migraines and led me to spend some of my lunch break crying in the bathroom (he caught me with my eyes still red), and the last thing I wanted to do was complain that something else was wrong.

"Just breathe," I told myself. "Just breathe and your back will relax and no one will know and you can continue working." My boss walked on stage and found me on the floor, unable to hide the pain. I tried to stand up and look as normal as possible. I didn't make it 3 inches off the floor. "Tarythe..." he began, with the intention of assigning me a new project. But he instantly became serious when he saw me struggling on the ground, trying to pretend that I wasn't. "What's wrong?" he asked, reading the agony clearly written across my face. "Ummm..." I began. Then I started to cry. I gave up trying to contort my face into an expression that said, "Everything's fine, I'm just hanging out on the floor in this very awkward position for fun" and turned my efforts to explaining what had happened. He assigned a girl I work with to help me stand up and walk to the office so I could lie down on the couch for a little bit. 10 minutes later he had that same girl walk me to the on-campus nurse's office, where we met with an antagonistic and annoyed nurse who clearly did not feel like tending to me right then (after all, as she told me, it was 2:30 and she hadn't even had lunch yet). She made me cry with her "You're causing me such trouble" attitude (though, to be fair, I was already a little shaken up and sensitive right then).

All I wanted to do was go back to work, but I was sent home and given strict orders to ice and rest my back. Great. It was my birthday and I had plans for that evening, but the nurse said I could still go out as long as I rested first and took it easy that night. "I can do that," I thought. What I wasn't prepared for was the days of work I would have to take off after that, and being cooped up in the house for the rest of the week. No yardwork, no housework, nothing actually productive. Had I been in school I could have used the time to get homework done, but alas, I had none. So I played a lot of Age of Mythology instead.

I'm feeling much better, and now the only time my back really hurts is after long periods of standing or walking.