PDL

I don't mind PDA. I think it's lovely when people display their affection publicly - with a kiss, a kind word, or a service such as holding the door. I smile when I see a man leading a woman by the small of her back, helping her out of the car, or giving her the larger piece of cake even though she pretends to not want it (citing excuses about her almost non-existant waist). I laugh merrily when I see a woman being oh-so-patient when her husband has gotten them lost, or graciously acknowledging and accepting a man's act of chivalry. I think to myself that I hope they are as happy with their loved one as I am with mine.

When Public Displays of Affection turn into Public Displays of Lust, however, my stomach turns and I wonder what the world is coming to.

Woman #1 got onto the plane first and sat down next to me. We made eye contact and exhanged hello's. Woman #2 boarded the plane about 10 minutes later, and, upon seeing Woman #1, said, "Well hello pretty lady. What's your name?" This sent Woman #1 into fits of giggles - but I failed to see what was quite so funny. (She used this joke 6 more times during the flight, and Woman #1 dissolved into giggling hysterics each time. Unbeknownst to me, this joke doesn't get old.) It quickly became obvious that the two 40-year-old women were more than just friends, and it seemed as though they were both on heavy doses of Viagra for women - because they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. The biggest tip-off of their relationship, though, was when they started feeding fruit pieces to each other and sucking on one another's fingers in the process (complete with sound effects). Only a part of my intense nausea was due to the bumpy flight - it was 5 hours of illness and awkwardnes.

Where was I when the word "decency" got cut from the English language?