You've Got To Be Kidding Me

I've always been terrified of going to the dentist, and I'm not really sure why. I suppose everyone has their own irrational, paralyzing fear - and dentists are mine.

A few weeks ago, my teeth really started hurting. I didn't know why, but the pain got so bad it was giving me headaches and sore muscles in my neck. I decided to call a dentist and schedule an appointment (which also meant looking through my insurance policy to figure out what's covered and who I can go see, and I HATE dealing with insurance). I called a few people on the list, and the first dentist whose office answered the phone I made an appointment with. I don't want to give out his full name, so I'll refer to him as Dr. V. Davis. No no, scratch that, I'll call him Dr. Vincent D.

DON'T GO SEE HIM.

Friday at 2:45 I show up for my appointment, my teeth having mostly calmed down but still a little sensitive. I've spent all week mentally preparing myself, and all day not eating due to nerves. I arrive a little early, expecting to fill out new patient paperwork. The office is closed. Someone tells me they saw him leave not 10 minutes before that, so I think that perhaps he ran out but will be back for my 3:00 appointment. No luck. Scott and I wait for over an hour, with no sign of Dr. Vincent D. The answering machine message in his office gives his cell phone as an emergency number, but he's not answering that either. So we go home. Shortly afterward he calls me, has no idea who I am, and says that he didn't have anyone on his schedule so he went home early. I told him I scheduled an appointment with his receptionist, and he says that he just fired her because she wasn't doing her job and he's so sorry and can he call me back when he has his calendar in front of him and schedule me personally? Fine, I say.

And I wait. A full week goes by without hearing from him, so I call him back myself. At first he doesn't remember me, but then he does and we schedule an appointment for today, August 11th, after I return from my trip to Utah. Luckily by this point my teeth have stopped hurting, so I am no longer in desperate need of care. I'm willing to wait a little bit. Today arrives and I once again arrive early with Scott (who has come for much-needed emotional support). The office is open, which I take to be a good sign. But the dentist isn't in. The receptionist seems confused at my presence, because I'm not on the schedule, but I tell her that Dr. Vincent D. scheduled me personally. I fill out paperwork, and wait. Over half an hour goes by. The receptionist (who did NOT seem like she wanted to be there for have anything to do with patients) calls the dentist, who says that he had called everyone yesterday to cancel appointments for today because he had to take the day off. But I wasn't on his list of appointments. This time he has no one to blame but himself, and all he can say is, "Sorry about that."

The name of his practice is "Gentle Dental Care". Apparently he's so gentle he never even touches your teeth. I didn't feel a thing.