Today I am Commodore Iron Mary Bonney

It's not unpredictable that I, like others in my circle of friends, will post today to honour the long-awaited International Talk Like a Pirate Day - pretty much my favourite holiday of the year. And so here I go.

I went to work today with a hand-made sign on my oversized nametag that said, "Happy ITLAPD". I had visions of every customer I spoke to asking me what ITLAPD meant, thereby giving me a chance to explain and spread the joys of this occasion. Unfortunately, time passed and no one seemed to notice my sign or wonder what ITLAPD stood for. (As Scott said, they probably assumed that it was an acronym for a really lengthy-named police department. Perhaps an offshoot of Los Angeles.) As I started into my 3rd hour of work, I realized that it was time to take matters into my own hands.

"Hello, welcome to FYE. What can I help you find? Oh, really? Well, you're in luck - we have that cd right over here. AND, did you know that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day? In fact, we have some of the best pirate movies ever made right in this section over here."

"Hello, welcome to FYE. What are you doing to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day today? Nothing? You don't even know what ITLAPD is? Oh, dear, that certainly is a travesty. Well, don't you worry - I can equip you with a movie that will be sure make this year's celebration terrrrific."

Since no one was approaching me with questions about ITLAPD, I chose instead to reach out to the uninformed and educate them. Some people didn't want to play along, but most were good-natured and humored me. It made work more interesting and I even got a sale or two off of it...though my manager now thinks I'm nuts.

Here's the way I described the adventures of today in pirate-speak to a couple of my friends:

Argh!!! I been waitin’ fer this day ever since September came upon us! Tis a day of true celebration and camaraderie! It seems th' land-lubbers of th' eastern seaboard aren’t to be knowin’ about this day. But never you worry – I took it upon meself to…shall we say…*inform* those scurrrvy dogs. And every one of those bloody lubbers who didn’t agree with me ways, well, I lashed ‘em to th' taff-rail and drove ‘em windward…or I keelhauled ‘em. Then I made ‘em all walk th' plank! Th' crew got a mighty good laugh out o’ that and I got all th’ booty I collected from those bilge rats before I cast ‘em into th' sea. Argh!!! Tis a fine thing to be a pirate!

Commodore Iron Mary Bonney

I'm most excited, of course, about watching The Muppet Treasure Island tonight to celebrate. Scott has yet to see it, for which I shake my head pityingly and say, "Oh, you poor, deprived soul..."

Julie, you know what I'm talking about.